Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My progression into bieng a Dad

Each day I get to play with my daughter is better than the day before.
She is growing into her own little person each day.
Its quite humorous to see her back-up into a room she isn't supposed to be in.
I think she thinks shes getting away with something by going backwards instead of walking straight in.

As a stay at home dad I feel I have the connection that most moms develop with their children. I seem to understand her little grunts or motions as to what she wants.
For fun try a little people watching the next time you see a smaller child and their parent. Its like watching people talk in a foreign language that only they understand.

AS my title suggest this blog is about being a dad. I wanted to share some more insight to myself and also feel its good to get things out once in a while as well.

So let me begin. As a child I was adopted, My mother had me when she was 19, and my father left her to pursue his own life without us.One a side note I actually met my father when I returned from Iraq, More on that in another blog.
I was adopted by a rough and tumble cowboy type man who was quite older than my mother.
At around the age of 5 He took me without permission to Colorado. I spent about a year moving around alot and such until one day my mother came to get me. I remember it being Easter and directly after searching for my basket my "dad" loaded us into a van just as my mom was pulling up. I can't help to think that if she had been 5 minutes later I would have a much different life.


A few years passed and my mom had been dating a guy for a few years when she had my little brother when I was 8. This guy was good to my mom, and we were able to do things I had not been afforded when I was younger. Things like snowboarding, He bought a boat which was great for many summers. Unfortunately he could drink like a fish. As I look back it was a gradual progression in the amount of beers he would consume. Basically by the time he and my mom separated he could drink 18 beers and smoke a pack of Marlboro's from the time he got home at 3;30 to when he passed out at 730-800 pm. I didn't realize how much of an impact seeing this daily would affect me until a few years into my military career.

During high school I was pretty much a trouble making bad kid who didn't care much about anything and got into trouble for many things, Including stealing my parents cars and such. That incident was the only time I fought fist to fist with him. Which resulted in me being sent to live with my adopted dad, in Las Vegas. I often think of it being very strange that I was sent to the guy that kidnapped me but well, that's just how my life went.
I only lasted a few months in Las Vegas until an incident happened where either I was to go to juvenile detention or be sent back to Vermont.
Luckily I was sent back to Vermont. As in my opinion I feel that kids who end up in juvenile detention in large cities like that are destined to a very bad future.

So I kept up with being a punk teenager. I met a girl, or should I say my interest in girls took the majority of my attention and time. I dated a girl from my junior year in high school until I dropped out in my senior year. I had messed up so much I would not have been able to graduate with my friends so I just quit. I worked in factories for a while and 3rd shift jobs, Dating the same girl, the entire time.

I saw a need for a change and really didn't want to be stuck in my home-town for the rest of my life. Funny though now I miss it and like visiting there. So I looked into the military, The First Gulf war was still somewhat fresh and I felt a need of some direction, So I Joined, The Us Army. Ill talk about that later as well.
I also married my long-term High school girlfriend that year. I was 19.
As I am already getting long winded, I was married to her for 11 years, During that time we had 3 children. Two boys and one girl. Since our divorce she has since moved to Vermont and besides paying in support for them I do not get to hear from them see them or have any contact unless she gets a kind feeling. Its not a topic I like to discuss since I have 3 children that are a part of me but at the same time have no connection at all. I'm pretty sure they are not even allowed to receive the gifts I send on holidays.

I met Jen, a year before I was medically discharged from the military. It was like finding the perfect match at first sight. I know alot of people say that but you get this weird feeling when it happens and I often wonder how I have could not have had her in my life. We had met while I was doing a short training exercise in Washington. She actually quit her job and moved to my duty station a few months later. She was a great asset and helpful during my transition from the military to civilian life.
We moved to Florida near her parents and stayed for 5 years.
We decided to have a baby, and after months of trying we became pregnant. In May 2009 Ashlynn was born, She was initially supposed to be a water birth but ended up being a c-section. Since that day I have been with her every day.
AS she is 14 months now I am amazed at all she is capable of. She talks, sorta, Walks and has opinions and quirks all her own. Its also quite nice to get compliments and such on her behavior and demeanor. I fully believe that her presence helped my identify my creative side. Although I'm a guy I am trying to learn how to do her hair, match clothes and shoes. Pretty much all the girly stuff.


Well as I am not much of a writer and have about a thousand other things to do, that and I feel long winded :) I will end this post today.

There is probably quite a bit of open ended areas that people want to know more about. And I will link other blogs to this one in the future.

My intentions where to show what I felt like being a dad but It looks more like a short history of me instead :)


Lavon said...

What an awesome testimony you have, Joe! To have gone through so much in your growing up years and still turn out to be such a loving father! In some future post I would love to hear how you became a Christian and how that affected your life.

ZudaGay said...

You never know what a person has been through and how it all honed and shaped them into who they are. Very interesting, Joe, I can't wait to read more. :) You little one is ADORABLE!! I love sitting and watching families. Little people are amazing.

MonsterBug Blankets said...

Awww, it's neat to learn more about you! Your daughter is soooo precious! :)

JoyfulHandKnits said...

How very interesting to read a person's life journey and how they came to be who they are. Sounds like the Lord had His hand on you from early on. Great story. We'd like to hear more! It's like reading a book - where's the next chapter! LOL!

MYSAVIOR said...

I can't help but smile when I look at Ashlynn - what a sweet face.
There are so many similarities in your life and mine - in different ways.
I was married to a man for 30 years who did exactly what your mom's husband did. I was always amazed how he could work all day, come home, drink all that beer and smoke so much, pass out and wake up for work the next day.
My brother/cousin Stefan lived with me,my mom and father for years and then when my mother's brother,my uncle wanted him back he had to leave me. He was my brother for 10 years. He got into so much trouble as a teen, then joined the army/greenberets during the war in Vietnam.
The Lord was looking out for you, Joe. He brought through all that to meet your current wife and give you a wonderful little daughter. God Bless you and yours!